Want your thoughts!

You are too volatile. You are such an over thinker. You are unstable. You get angry so quickly.

Well, absolutely not saying that being any of that is any good. However, if you are so calm, stable, always balanced, super rational, then does that make you less passionate compared to the likes of me?

True, you will not hate unabashedly, you will not unleash anger all of  a sudden (and beyond repair, of course!), but would you love as fiercely as the likes of me either?

Would appreciate your thoughts on this, all of you reading it. 🙂


The opposite of writer’s block

Every now and then, I have a strong itch to write here but I think I have reached that point of getting-into-the-rut-of-your-day-job that I absolutely do not want to even move a finger once I am back from office and done with my essential chores (aren’t chores essential always? Anyway, you get the point).

Not that I have still managed to break that rut, but let me tell you how I landed here today (totally useless post by the way just in case you were doing something important). You know how some people have a habit of browsing news websites in their offices when they want to take a moment off from their busy schedules. For me, that’s WordPress. When I want to have a few minutes of ‘me time’ in office, I go to WordPress reader. Good coffee on the side makes those few minutes a WHOLE LOT better. So, yesterday, I did the same and I had to attend to something just when I had started, hence, couldn’t really read any posts but I went through few of the notifications. And that reminded me how much I enjoy some people’s posts! How much they make my day better! How I had never imagined that you can meet people virtually with whom you might connect on so many things! And, most importantly, how much I love writing here myself.

So, I wanted to write this post yesterday itself but not wanting to move my finger thing came into picture. But today here it is. This is what I call the opposite of writer’s block. A state of mind where you are so enamoured by the idea of writing even though you don’t really have something to write about in mind and, of course, your writing needs a hell lot of improvement anyway!

On a slightly different note, I would love to know what people reading this space might want to read next. I do have some drafts but so not ready to work on them mentally. Please comment/email if you have any suggestions, I’ll try if I can motivate myself a bit. 🙂

Together is my favourite place to be

Together is my favourite place to be,

In your arms, getting squished in your hugs,

dealing in between whenever life bugs.

Together is my favourite place to be,

Waking up next to you,

followed by a soulful breakfast for two.

Together is my favourite place to be,

because all I want is few more lives,

to do this all over again with you.


Letter to my Scared Soul

When I first got to know what periods are, I didn’t understand why I am being told to be secretive about it. I let it pass thinking that this is my first time, maybe as I get more familiar with this ‘thing’, I’ll know why people talk in hush-hush tones about periods. Almost 15 years later, I still do not know why. But, more importantly, it does not bother me that I am different from people around me regarding this ‘thing’. There are many things like this about which I am certain that my thinking is very different from people I grew up with despite having the similar kind of environment, but it doesn’t bother me that how come my thinking turned out to be different than them.

Then, why it bothers me when my feelings to certain scenarios are not the same as the general opinion? Let me explain what I mean with an example. I despise fake talk. And I despise those people even more who continuously get into the loop of being extra sweet to you when they genuinely do not possess that much sweetness towards you. Now, what a ‘normal’ person would do if they meet such people – acknowledge the aforementioned extra sweet person’s extra sweetness in their own head but do not show any signs of being affected. Be totally neutral. I, on the other hand, get very, very repelled by such behavior and it totally shows in my own behaviour/body language/facial distortions etc. Okay, this is a problem but still the only thing I should do to improve myself is become more calm & more accepting towards others. It shouldn’t make me question if there’s anything wrong with me. Then, why I question myself?

That is because when someone important to you feels something’s wrong about you, you start self-doubting too. I need to remind myself – its completely okay to not feel the same way as others do. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Someone’s idea of ‘correct thing’ doesn’t have to be your idea. The one who cares for you is worried for you, that’s why they are trying to figure why you are not like them. Its okay if they question you, because they are also growing just like you in their journey. They may have some perspectives similar to the ones you don’t relate to, but do not force yourself to feel as per those perspectives too. You don’t do that unless your heart says so. Listen to your heart & do not get scared if the voice is different from the norm. More importantly, do not get scared if the voice is different from that person’s whom you love. Just like you never got scared when you couldn’t understand the deal with people & periods.

Scared soul, chill & peace out. Love is not supposed to make you have the exact same feelings about everything as your loved one’s. Truly, it hurts a lot when your loved one thinks that you are not being ‘normal’. But that’s okay. Be proud of your uniqueness, of being the joker in the pack, of being the one who stood out. Nothing to worry, its okay to feel differently as long as you know you are being true to yourself. Just calm down & try being a better version of you (& only you).

Cultures & castes in India and the rudeness (?)

Disclaimer: This post is not at all meant to offend anybody. I respect all cultures, in fact, I like observing various cultures and people. If there is anything that feels offensive, please let me know in comments or by email. I would take the content down if I am not able to justify it.

As we all know, India is a mixed bag of different cultures and castes. There is so much diversity due to equally diverse reasons like geographical, ancestral professions, religion and what not! There are characteristics that some of us associate with different cultures and castes and that is what I am going to talk about today.

Personally, while many people will call me shallow for this, I like associating characteristics with different castes or cultures. I feel that that characteristic is like a specialty, since in my mind I am not associating the characteristic in a negative way with the caste. It is more like a specialty in my mind, a customization of those people, even if it is not something good or so. Although, in today’s world, since most of our daily life is a result of mixed culture or cosmopolitan culture, there is not much that can be attributed to these characteristics. But it is fun for me to spot the little characteristics. For example, I am a Punjabi and we are considered to be loud and we are also considered to think after we have spoken (the latter is only what I have observed among Punjabis). Similarly, I have observed that Bengalis are usually pretty big on travelling and observing cultures, oh, and they are good with usually one or the other art form like singing while on the other hand, they are relatively chilled-out about regular household chores, for example, house cleaning (?) or something (err, I can’t think of a proper household chore). I would like to repeat that this is only what I have usually observed. It may or may not be true. I like observing these characteristics, but what I don’t like is people making generalizations and with them, follow sarcastic remarks and offensive comments. 

Have you started wondering where this article is going? Well, time and again, I have come across these caste-based offensive comments and I am sure there are many I have never heard of. I wanted to share a few that I have heard. So, I am going to jot down a few here and the reasons as to why they are offensive:

  1. “Oh, you are a vegetarian, but I thought you were Punjabi” or “Oh you don’t drink, but I thought you were Punjabi”                                                                                                                               I know that this is NOT offensive, at least not as much as the other ones. The problem here is that the person asking this could do away with some common sense. Unless you are just saying it as a funny fact (which is OK in my opinion), you should understand that not everyone belonging to a caste eats the same thing, even if their caste is flexible about such things. How is it even possible for every single person in a caste to have the same food habits? :O See, generalization.
  2. “Oh you are a South Indian, but you don’t look like one”                                                                     My God! I have a South Indian friend. I have lost count the number of times we have been in embarrassing situations where someone says something rude about South Indians and then, someone realizes that she, in fact, is a South Indian and then, no one knows what to say. Personally I have felt that most rude things said during these conversations have been downright stupid. As for this comment, I agree some South Indians belonging to certain geographical regions have characteristic features like dark black curly hair, big eyes and sharp features, bronzed complexion but the keyword here is ‘some’, not all. Stop stereotyping. Basically, it works like this: if you have a South Indian friend who has any of the characteristic features, well bingo! they match one of the characteristics of their clan but if they have different hair or complexion or features than their clan, stop asking stupid things like “why don’t you have those kind of hair?”. There’s no why, that’s because not everyone has the same things in a culture or caste. Seriously, how difficult this is?
  3. “You are a baniya, you must be a miser”                                                                                                      This sentence oozes offence, even a foreigner will know that this is a negative sentence, but it is used so commonly that even Baniyas have forgotten that it is supposed to be offensive. For those who don’t know, Baniya is a caste in India developed due to the ancestral profession reasons. In ancient India, when there was a full-fledged caste system dividing Brahmins, Warriors and so on, Baniyas were the businessmen and hence, calculative. A good businessmen always takes care of his spending. That is how Baniyas became ‘misers’. :/They are calculative, extremely good at mathematics and very sharp when it comes to Sciences and Mathematics. But are ALL of them that? Then, probably, every Baniya should be seen in only professions related to those two subjects. Why are so many fashion designers Baniya then? My point: Knowing that someone is a Baniya and is good at Maths, feel glad that you were able to connect their caste’s characteristic with their personality but if they are not good at Maths, don’t come up with shit like “how can you be a Baniya when you don’t know Maths!” or “how did you agree to pay for yourself, you are a Baniya!” Well, they don’t live to save money, you know. Some of them might like saving it more than spending it, just like many people in other castes. Arrrgghhhhhhh.

Enough of the examples, while my examples are mostly taken from North India, I am sure other areas of India are not any better when it comes to stereotyping. See, personally, I believe that there are distinguishing characteristics among various cultures but that’s all what you should expect when you meet someone new. Don’t go overboard with your assumptions and remember, not everyone is the same in a culture. 

Lastly, I have only two things to say. First, in most cases, these things are meant as jokes with absolutely no ill-will. So if you have ever become a victim, try to observe with a neutral perspective. Secondly, if you received any rude comment, remember that the person saying it has a skewed and dumb perspective of the world, feel pity for him or her. 

PS: I do know that this post is kind of lame. 😛

Right Person

She entered the kitchen, hoping to make her sister, Veera, cook something for the guests.

Veera looked at her furiously,”Why am I expected to cook? Is the guy going to marry me or my cooking skills?” She smiled,”You are not expected to cook but cooking is therapeutic, it makes you feel good. Try it. If everyone ends up liking your dish, tell me how you felt in the end”.

Veera widened her eyes,”Whatever! I just hope the guy is good looking and doesn’t have a joint family!” She laughed,”Haha! You would have had more fun if it was a joint family”. Veera reluctantly got back to cooking.

She came outside to check if the guy and his family had arrived. They just entered then. Very tall, very handsome. She was overwhelmed. Coming back to senses, she smiled to herself,”Ok! So one thing is checked off Veera’s list! He is definitely good looking”.

They all sat in the drawing room and somehow, the conversation drifted towards how he managed food while living alone. He told her dad,” Oh, we had a cook at our flat but I used to cook too. Cooking feels therapeutic to me. If I cook for my loved ones, it is an amazing feeling!” She stared at him in disbelief. Her father asked him,” So, yours is a joint family?” He smiled and said,”No, its just me and my parents. Although I know joint family has too much nuisances, yet I wish we had one, joint families seem to be fun”. She was taken aback, she hold the door next to her to be able to stand. Somehow, she tip-toed back to the kitchen. Veera was ready with her dish and smiled excitedly at her,”Oh my God, sis! Don’t you think he is too hot?” Veera hurried out of the kitchen.

She sat on the kitchen shelf, remembering a conversation with her colleague. “When you meet the right person, you will know”, her colleague had said.

She wondered if Veera’s dish tasted any good.


Note: This is part of WordPress’ Weekly Writing challenge from their blog – The Daily Post. They have these really fun exercises going on, all the time. Read about this challenge on flash fiction here.