When I first got to know what periods are, I didn’t understand why I am being told to be secretive about it. I let it pass thinking that this is my first time, maybe as I get more familiar with this ‘thing’, I’ll know why people talk in hush-hush tones about periods. Almost 15 years later, I still do not know why. But, more importantly, it does not bother me that I am different from people around me regarding this ‘thing’. There are many things like this about which I am certain that my thinking is very different from people I grew up with despite having the similar kind of environment, but it doesn’t bother me that how come my thinking turned out to be different than them.
Then, why it bothers me when my feelings to certain scenarios are not the same as the general opinion? Let me explain what I mean with an example. I despise fake talk. And I despise those people even more who continuously get into the loop of being extra sweet to you when they genuinely do not possess that much sweetness towards you. Now, what a ‘normal’ person would do if they meet such people – acknowledge the aforementioned extra sweet person’s extra sweetness in their own head but do not show any signs of being affected. Be totally neutral. I, on the other hand, get very, very repelled by such behavior and it totally shows in my own behaviour/body language/facial distortions etc. Okay, this is a problem but still the only thing I should do to improve myself is become more calm & more accepting towards others. It shouldn’t make me question if there’s anything wrong with me. Then, why I question myself?
That is because when someone important to you feels something’s wrong about you, you start self-doubting too. I need to remind myself – its completely okay to not feel the same way as others do. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Someone’s idea of ‘correct thing’ doesn’t have to be your idea. The one who cares for you is worried for you, that’s why they are trying to figure why you are not like them. Its okay if they question you, because they are also growing just like you in their journey. They may have some perspectives similar to the ones you don’t relate to, but do not force yourself to feel as per those perspectives too. You don’t do that unless your heart says so. Listen to your heart & do not get scared if the voice is different from the norm. More importantly, do not get scared if the voice is different from that person’s whom you love. Just like you never got scared when you couldn’t understand the deal with people & periods.
Scared soul, chill & peace out. Love is not supposed to make you have the exact same feelings about everything as your loved one’s. Truly, it hurts a lot when your loved one thinks that you are not being ‘normal’. But that’s okay. Be proud of your uniqueness, of being the joker in the pack, of being the one who stood out. Nothing to worry, its okay to feel differently as long as you know you are being true to yourself. Just calm down & try being a better version of you (& only you).