What I was doing when I wasn’t doomscrolling

This is about the time before I got Covid and when the second wave just started in India. I would say I consider this period as beginning of April. (I know I sound like this was millions of years ago. But, honestly, sometimes this all just feels like it’s a movie we are watching, happening to someone else sorts).

This is the time when gradually it started happening to your family members, or someone in your immediate circles, and, in most cases, to entire families. The best thing that could happen to most of us at this point was get recovered at home without having to hunt for hospitalization and most of us have nothing but immense gratitude for that. Most of us also have a close one who had to get hospitalized or a family member lost. So many people are arranging for covid meals in their localities to help out those affected and social media became the go-to place for finding medicines, hospitals and what not! (Something that infuriates most of us but it is what it is).

My cousin’s wedding was also planned for 25th April and honestly I find it funny now how the situation for our family was only worsening as his wedding drew closer. Anyhow, he went ahead with the wedding with just parents being there and all.

Anyhow, I didn’t intend this to be a post about the scary situation in India but I just wanted to share some little things that helped me have a less anxious state during those days (and even now) when social media is abuzz with remdisivir requests, hospital hunting etc. You are either helping amplify these requests, or God forbid, hunting yourself for these or just completely off social media to let your mind have some sense of peace.

And these are the things I was doing (or I am doing) when I am not doomscrolling these social media posts (of course, I meant apart from work and home chores) –

1. This blue tokai coffee and my favorite things ever – chips
Self-explanatory. And yes, I want to change the habit of having too many chips. But there’s nothing I love more when it comes to food 😀 I cannot imagine life without chips. Also, guys, it doesn’t mean I don’t eat fruit etc. 😀 I just mean to point out that chips make my day infinitely better. Infinitely. Lastly, not recommended, chips is Extremely bad for health due to added sugar and sodium content. How I try to compensate is by not having refined sugar in any other form most of the times but it’s still not right to have chips daily! :/

2. Coloring Books
Adult coloring books have been a thing for few years now and art is therapy anyway. But I started using adult coloring books since a year back and only recently did I use them to such an extent (daily or alternate daily). To be honest, I didn’t feel as much happiness as I expected but it sure is a great way to be more mindful – focussed at one thing, being in the moment and visualising colors. I also tried drawing something even though I am not good at it and that also brought me calm.

I follow this artist @bhuli.art whose art I tried to recreate myself (picture below).

3. Cooking

This is still a home chore and, of course, you dont feel like moving your a** for every meal but, in general, cooking (and eating😀) brings me a lot of mindfulness.

Tried making sun dried tomatoes too!

4. Dancing
Just 2 days before I got Covid, I had decided to try doing this daily like I used to as a kid on Bollywood numbers. This was turning out to be a really fun thing because I enjoy dancing and I find it hard to stick to other workouts (I know it doesn’t have the same impact and I should have a proper workout regime, but something is better than nothing). It only happened for 2 days after which I got sick but this was fun!

5. Deep Breaths
In the pre-covid era, I used to do this once or twice everytime I got anxious in day to day activities like, you know, when you are angry at the cab driver, people in your office. Oh man! This seems like a different lifetime already! However, now I practise deep breaths daily as part of using a meditation app (it’s called ‘Calm’ in case you want to check out, I get the premium version from my employer). I am still not good with meditation but I want to make it a habit and this focusing on breaths make it easier and more doable for me.

6. Young Sheldon and The Big Bang Theory
These two felt like a warm hug while I had Covid just like watching ‘Friends’ feels to most of us. Just this time, I didn’t want to watch Friends because that’s what I am anyway watching all the time. Or, the US Office.

7. Reading
I hope it’s obvious to the regular readers of this space why this is the last point. 😊 This is a constant in my life and these days when I come across other people mentioning that reading is helping them so much in coping up, since it truly feels like an escape, I don’t know, my heart just becomes full. I am not focusing a lot these days on stepping out of my comfort zone in reading, which is why on the number of books scale, I am doing good this year for my standards, even though I read pretty less each day. However, I should (as I always say) need to read more informative stuff but I’ll get there. I am just happy that there’s something called reading that exists in this world.

If you are reading this, would love to know the little things that are helping you stay sane these days. Do share with me!

Days in Home Isolation | 17 | what’s even the point?

Few days back, I was talking to my friend (Moksha who blogs here by the way) that how I am craving to shop. I think she knows this much about me and those who don’t, I think it’s important for this post that I mention – I have never been an impulsive shopper. Even as a teenager, I liked being mindful of my purchases.

However, that day, as I was mentioning to her, I felt like shopping a lot of new clothes, makeup etc etc. Obviously, I didn’t give in but after that I got covid and I had to order a coloring book and some colors here at my parents place which made me feel good. Even buying a new moisturizer made me feel good.

But coming back to the original point, when I mentioned to Moksha that I feel like shopping, she happened to mention that she, on the contrary, feels like “what’s even the point of anything”. She meant it in the covid context, how everything feels pointless these days and while I understood and felt very sad, I had not felt that until then since Mar’20 which is a big deal in today’s time. I did consider myself lucky for not feeling that way. And then, covid happened. Now I know that this feeling of pointlessness has not got to do much with the fact whether you have had covid or not. You can feel this and millions around the world are feeling this without getting covid because that’s the sort of situation we are in. But, for me, it happened due to catching covid. Now is the first time since this whole pandemic began for us that I am feeling this way. I do a lot of stuff in my quarantine to keep myself occupied. Honestly, even before I got covid, I was taking pictures to post on “What I am doing when I am not doomscrolling on insta”. I am genuinely thankful for all these things. But, truly, the feeling of pointlessness is now hitting home. I am positive of not feeling this way once I join back work ( I never thought that I would say this but, yes, I think it will help).

What are you doing? If you are in India, do share your thoughts on how have you been dealing with this second wave.

Days in Home Isolation | 12

Last few days have been tough. Last Sunday Rahul and I came to my parents place because it was getting difficult to manage on our own with covid. My mom had just recovered at our place and went back to her home due to my father catching covid there. So it was not like we were adding to any risks by going there. so glad that we came because the next day my SPO2 levels started falling. This past week has all been about sleeping with concentrators all night and feeling better in the morning therefore. I am so so so thankful to friends and family who helped me get it. And I am even more thankful that I didn’t have to go to a hospital . Not sure if it’s the sensible thing to do, but I managed.

For now, I am facing breathlessness issues as soon as I get up from my bed. Rahul and my dad are doing fine except the weakness.

Hoping to come out of it all pretty soon.

Days in Home Isolation | 4

Doing better physically even though fever is still at 102. Cough and cold situation is also better than yesterday.

Today I got my blood tests done, and typical to my nature of crying at the site of needles, I made the testing person super uncomfortable with my behaviour. Still he tried being nice. 😀 It didn’t hurt at all which is another reminder that I don’t need to be the physical stuff fearful person that I am. But I don’t learn in this department. :/

Days in Home Isolation | 3

The title makes no sense as we haven’t stepped out from home since I don’t even remember when. Only for mom’s medicines.

Today Rahul and I both tested negative and both are running high fevers and cough. Doc has mentioned that it’s a false negative. The good thing is that we don’t have to isolate in separate rooms now (which is why the title change) and can manage food etc better. Although I do miss my isolation coz then I was less bothered about messiness around the house.

Another family member is critical and I am just Hoping that all this is over soon & he comes back home sound and safe.

Days in Isolation | 2

Should have written this during the day when I still had mild fever and a lot more energy. Now I am able to relate in a more physical fashion what my mom was going through when she slept for 12 hours straight in initial days of covid and this is a woman who take so less sleep.

I am doing okay for now except the fever and cough, but my main worry is that my dad who is also down with covid right now and my cousin brother, both of these people are running high temperatures which doesn’t go away even after taking fever meds. Can’t imagine how they are managing the bechaini (restlessness) which comes with constant high temperatures.

Just hoping that we all get better soon at home only and this corona wave is over soon.